Fatty

Herself has one particular relative who, every time there is any family gathering, large or small, invariably recounts at least one story or makes a particular commentary about "Fat People." When this relative travels, there is always one Fat Person story about some individual on the plane who was taking up more than his or her allotted share of the airspace. When this relative goes to the grocery store, there is a description of the snack food aisle and remarks on how that aisle always seems to have Fat People in it. Then there is general Fat Person Health Discourse, about whether the Fat People realize they are jeopardizing their health by being fat, as well as criticism of those who provide food for the very Fat People. Like clockwork, this relative works the Fat People into the conversation with every visit.

Herself is thoroughly tired of the Fat People observations put forth by this relative. Being inherently nonconfrontational, she typically greets the Fat People discourse with polite silence or topic-changing words. For what she would like to say requires more than three sentences, so she cannot put forth her thoughts coherently in these situations. What she wants most to say is something along the lines of this:

People have complex relationships with food. Food is love, consolation, companion. Feeding other people is a devotion from the very beginning: every mother who puts a baby to her breast knows that she is giving of herself, far beyond feeding her infant. Eating is a filling of an emptiness that goes beyond the contents of a stomach; it is the placating of a stress, a discomfort, a loneliness or a sorrow that dwells deep within. Eating is also a a delight, a joy to the senses. Enjoyment of a good meal, either alone or in company, is one of the greatest pleasures there is.

People know when they are overweight. People know when their loved ones are overweight, too. They know what the health risks are. But sometimes -- many times -- food is the only thing that momentarily eases the void within, or is the only language that two people can share. And many other times, the gratification of a bountiful culinary experience is far more valuable than calorie-counting.

It's time to acknowledge that being a Fat Person is not a character flaw or a sign of ignorance or apathy towards one's health. We all have needs as human beings. Food fulfills a wide variety of those needs. A smile and a few friendly words would do far more good to any person, Fat or Not, than whispered judgement or criticizing glances.

Do not bestow your good will solely upon those people who fit your approved physical critera. No one truly knows what dwells in another person's heart.

Be kind.