Friday, February 5, 2016

Man Mysteries

A post relating to Venus and Mars.
Herself speaks. Generalizations abound. Just saying. 

Let's talk a little bit about the bathroom.

It's a common trope -- in television shows, advertisements, movies, the internet, everywhere, really -- the Man Who Spends A Very Long Time On The Toilet. I don't need to provide examples. You've seen them in one form or another.

What is this all about?

Why do men spend what seems to be, from a woman's point of view, an extraordinarily long amount of time to poop?

All I can think is: women literally do NOT have time for that sh*t.

We're busy. There are children hanging outside the bathroom door, trying to have conversations through it; there pets who, although not seeking conversation, are nevertheless also outside the bathroom door awaiting one's reemergence; there are household chores to be done, places to go, stuff that needs attention, work, a billion things. Spending an hour on the toilet is not possible when there is so much else. It seems almost like a luxury, to devote so much time to one's bodily functions and hygienic routine.

Wait a minute.

Perhaps women are just a wee bit envious that men do take that time, that we do not take.

Time to take a stand (or a sit) - ladies, let us stake a chronos claim in the bathroom.

Will it work?

We may never know. We don't have the time.

Meanwhile, for your amusement: the Poo-Pourri advertisement. It is marvelous.

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