Four

Herself speaks.

Yesterday on the 7th of December, I thought to myself, it has been four years now since Cherished Friend moved to a different corner of the desert. I checked back here in the blog to see what was written then, to discover that the day I went to his house at the crack of dawn to wave goodbye was, in fact, the 6th of December.

I am glad that the precise day is not fixed in my mind: that tells me that his move was not, in fact, so terrible as to be etched painfully on my mental calendar. I do not dread the anniversary of the day, because it was not an ending, as it could have been.
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Maintaining any kind of relationship with another human being, over space and time with sporadic in-person interaction, is not a challenge for the faint of heart. It takes patience, perseverance and effort. An understanding of silence. Communication. Reciprocation. A willingness to try.  Kudos to Cherished Friend, for taking the time to sustain our friendship over the miles and the years.

And more: knowing that he is an inherently solitary individual with a rather Vulcan-like stoicism, I am well aware of what it must cost him. It has no doubt been a challenge, given his temperament, to meet me in the middle the way he has. I am grateful for his efforts. He is a Good Man, and my life is better for his presence.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

-- Kahlil Gibran, On Friendship, The Prophet

Up Close and Personal

Sometimes I think about getting another dog. Yet, Tiny Dog is happy not to share. So, I will wait longer, until I am quite sure that the time, and the dog, is just right. 

Bravo, NASA

NASA has made their entre media library publicly accessible AND copyright free.

Go enjoy some lovely space, here: https://images.nasa.gov/

Thank you, NASA.

This is Messier 96, a spiral galaxy in the constellation of Leo. Lovely.

Yonce

Tonight's earworm: Yonce (by Beyonce).

Beyonce certainly knows how to turn up the heat.

::: fanning self :::

Humble

Take A Left

A nice day for a hike.

Ruth

Herself speaks.

Ruth the fish has passed away.

A few days after I'd given her aquarium a thorough cleaning (there was a visible amount of detritus among the decorative rocks at the bottom of her aquarium, and I thought she would benefit from a cleaner environment), she started looking funny. Swimming funny. No longer interested in food.

I did some research. It appeared that perhaps she was suffering from swim bladder disease; the treatment was a few days of fasting. That did not seem to be a problem, as she was disinterested in food to begin with. I let her be, kept an eye on her, made sure she could reach the top of her habitat for air, and so forth.

She didn't improve. Instead, she died.
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Part of me will always wonder whether I did something wrong. I followed the 24-hour rule for allowing new water to equilibrate to room temperature; I used water conditioning drops; I fed her. I made sure she had gentle aeration and I changed her filter. I did my best. The truth of the matter may be, though, that I do not truly understand fish, and I inadvertently hastened her demise. I feel guilty. And think that I should not, for now, attempt to nurture more fish.

I do better with mammals. I should stick to them. Or perhaps just not get any more pets right now, because I cannot bear the thought of becoming attached to a new creature, knowing that it will inevitably go the way of all small creatures. My heart cannot withstand it.
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I couldn't bear to flush Ruth. I put her in a tiny box and buried her under the tree in the yard. I put the little artificial log that had floated in her aquarium above her to mark the spot.

Godspeed, Ruth. I am sorry our time was so short together. Thank you for your brief, shining presence.