Supermassive

 Today's earworm: Supermassive Black Hole, by Muse. 

SO STUCK IN MY HEAD.

Enjoy.

Current Mood

Heart and Brain, nailing it as always. 

Catnap

Offspring the Third and his kitties are enjoying their Bachelor Pad. I am happy for them, though I do miss having them here with us under our roof. 

Scorched

What a beautiful little piece of poetry. 

Daydream

Sometimes I daydream
About being valued for who I am
And not just for what I can do

For others

And I pause

In the midst of all my Doing,

All my Paperwork, all my Tasks

And I contemplate

When I am loved

In a way that, unexpectedly, 

brings me a beverage

Just because

Or a way that

Tells me all the right words

In just the right moment --

And I sigh

And I shuffle my papers

And keep going.

Paperwork

 Herself speaks.

So, while I was traveling last week, I spent some time with my Mother, and helped her to sell Daddy's car. I am the Paperwork Person for such tasks: I went armed with the car title and the affidavit of spouse and my certificate as Personal Representative, and pulled up the Will and the registration and all the various Things we needed. Ta-daa! All the Papers. Mission accomplished. Mom was pleased and relieved, and I am pleased and relieved for her.

I have the tidy-up tasks now. I have communicated with the Registry of Motor Vehicles about cancelling the registration (special paperwork, as the Personal Representative of the estate), and I've put in a request to cancel the toll transponder. After the registration cancellation goes through, then I can work on speaking with the insurance, and then take care of the reimbursement of the excise tax for the town in which Mom lives. Piece by piece, all the papers. This is what I do. It is, essentially, who I am. 

I do not mind being the Paperwork Person. I feel accomplished, in a way, when all the bits are straightened out and everything is Done. I am Useful. I have Purpose. 

Every now and then, though, I am... Tired. 

I finish my Paperwork, and I have a tiny inner secret longing:

I wish I were paperwork, and that someone else would tend to me carefully, too.  

I am still not good at taking care of myself. 

I must continue to try, though. 

Positive

I traveled last week, and then WHOOPS fell into a black hole, and now it's a week later, and I've written nothing about the trip (or anything else), and I'm still behind on everything. But I'm trying to catch up. One day at a time. I'll get there. 

Positive potato believes in me! And I believe in you! We can do the Thing!

Night Flight

Bun in Bed

Magic Carpet Buns