Saturday, March 25, 2017

The Way It Is

Herself speaks.

Why are all the little things so... annoying?

Inability to speak a language well enough to haggle at a garage sale.
Absence of replacement toilet paper rolls in the ladies' room.
The slow driver who does not use turn signals.
A roll of tape that refuses to start cleanly.
Chewing noises.

These infinitesimal items -- oftentimes tolerable -- sometimes become less ignorable.
They chafe.
Irritation grows.

Why is this?

Sometimes, we hold a small, yet deep-rooted, anger inside. It is a seed that sprouts in the mulch of injustices and unkindnesses that have been bestowed upon us. It is watered by our righteousness in How Things Should Be. It is warmed by our unspoken and unmet hopes and desires. When we are thwarted or disappointed -- that kernel grows. When we are lonely or heartsick -- it grows. When we are wronged -- oh, how it grows.

Our senses are heightened by the presence of that internal anger. Sometimes, its verdant growth casts a shadow over all else: and then the minuscule grievances that might otherwise be not worth mentioning, seem to stand out in stark relief. We are weighed down by the anger within, and so, we lash out at the petty annoyances. They seem to be clear examples of All That Is Wrong With The World.

Anger is a tricky emotion. It is one of the very few that (as society tells us) Men are legitimately allowed to show. Women, on the other hand, must not show their anger: our job is to placate, to mollify, to dismiss, excuse, smooth over, forgive, forget -- and anger has no place there. Someday I will dissect the Male and Female of Anger.

Today, though, the question is: what to do with our anger?

For anger that is based in How We Want Things To Be, the solution appears to be:

Acknowledge that This Is The Way It Is.

Generally speaking, we cannot change the ways of the world.
Specifically speaking, we cannot change other people.
Wanting, expecting, or hoping otherwise is folly.

(This, we know -- yet it is eternally human to Hope, despite all odds.)

If we let go of What Is Not, we can accept what Is.

Acceptance is the first step to letting go of Anger.

It is the hardest step, too.

This is
The way
It is

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