Thursday, January 31, 2019
Wednesday, January 30, 2019
Tuesday, January 29, 2019
What If
Herself speaks.
One of my Facebook friends posted this article from the Washington Post today: "Lifestyle guru B. Smith has Alzheimer's. Her Husband has a girlfriend. Her fans aren't having it."
I did not read the whole article and thus can't comment on that particular situation. If we put the heartbreak (and the economics) of the situation aside, it's an interesting philosophical exercise, to contemplate what one would want in such a difficult situation.
One of my Facebook friends posted this article from the Washington Post today: "Lifestyle guru B. Smith has Alzheimer's. Her Husband has a girlfriend. Her fans aren't having it."
I will say: I have, on multiple occasions, told my friends and colleagues to please find my husband a new wife if I die. By extension, with all things considered, if I were afflicted with a memory-devastating disease like Alzheimer's, I would also want my husband to have the companionship that I would no longer be able to provide. I have faith that he would ensure that my medical and emotional needs, whatever they might be in such a situation, would be met; and I would want him to have the support he would need.
Is that idealistic? Perhaps. I have the luxury of hoping I could be magnanimous in this way. I do hope, though, that it never comes to that.
Aging: not for the faint of heart.
Used with gratitude.
Monday, January 28, 2019
Leaf
Herself speaks.
This past weekend I went to visit Cherished Friend in his corner of this desert land. It is always a pleasure to spend time with him; his company is like rainfall on creosote bushes. It was a much welcome respite from Work and Responsibilities and Everything.
Saturday, we spent time in a picturesque botanical garden. We have visited this place before, and as we walked, I remembered the moments from the photographs he took last time -- there was a bird on this stone statue; there was a spiderweb there; there were butterflies in the path just here. Strange, how the location spurred all those minuscule memories.
I sat briefly on a park bench to look at some purple leaves, that interestingly turned out to be a low-growing ground cover. Then I spotted a well-formed leaf. I picked it up and thought about summer camp eons ago, when I learned how to identify trees by their bark and shape of their leaves. A campfire song popped into my head, and I found myself humming it.
So many things that I thought were lost to the sands of time, resurfacing in that quiet garden.
It was lovely.
This past weekend I went to visit Cherished Friend in his corner of this desert land. It is always a pleasure to spend time with him; his company is like rainfall on creosote bushes. It was a much welcome respite from Work and Responsibilities and Everything.
Saturday, we spent time in a picturesque botanical garden. We have visited this place before, and as we walked, I remembered the moments from the photographs he took last time -- there was a bird on this stone statue; there was a spiderweb there; there were butterflies in the path just here. Strange, how the location spurred all those minuscule memories.
I sat briefly on a park bench to look at some purple leaves, that interestingly turned out to be a low-growing ground cover. Then I spotted a well-formed leaf. I picked it up and thought about summer camp eons ago, when I learned how to identify trees by their bark and shape of their leaves. A campfire song popped into my head, and I found myself humming it.
So many things that I thought were lost to the sands of time, resurfacing in that quiet garden.
It was lovely.
Sunday, January 27, 2019
Sunset
Offspring the Third goes out into the desert specifically to capture the sunsets. And seeing his photos, I understand why.
Photo Copyright 2019, Offspring the Third
Used With Gratitude. All rights reserved.
Saturday, January 26, 2019
Mountains
It looks almost like a painting.
Photo Copyright 2019, Offspring the Third
Used With Gratitude. All rights reserved.
Caterpillar
Chain-link fence. Prickly bug.
Photo Copyright 2018, 2019, Offspring the Third
Used With Gratitude. All rights reserved.
Thursday, January 24, 2019
Scorpion
Blacklight bug-hunting.
Photo Copyright 2019, 2019, Offspring the Third
Used With Gratitude. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
Reflection
On Offspring the Third's campus.
Photo Copyright 2019, Offspring the Third
Used With Gratitude. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, January 22, 2019
Penny Bug
Offspring the Third has thoughtfully provided a penny for scale.
Photo Copyright 2018, 2019, Offspring the Third
Used With Gratitude. All rights reserved.
Monday, January 21, 2019
Sunday, January 20, 2019
Third's Photos
Herself speaks.
Offspring the Third takes such marvelous photos. I am impressed with his eye, his sense of composition, and his ability to focus on things both tiny and macroscopic. I wish I had his skill.
I shall provide some of my favorites for our enjoyment over the next week. Let us begin with this woolly cow that he encountered out in the desert.
What a pretty animal.
Offspring the Third takes such marvelous photos. I am impressed with his eye, his sense of composition, and his ability to focus on things both tiny and macroscopic. I wish I had his skill.
I shall provide some of my favorites for our enjoyment over the next week. Let us begin with this woolly cow that he encountered out in the desert.
What a pretty animal.
Photo Copyright 2019, Offspring the Third
Used With Gratitude. All rights reserved.
Saturday, January 19, 2019
Small Flower
Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time. ― Georgia O'Keeffe
Photo Copyright 2018, 2019, Offspring the Third
Used With Gratitude. All rights reserved.
Friday, January 18, 2019
Baldy
Thursday, January 17, 2019
You Sang To Me
Herself speaks.
A thousand years ago now, one of the Offspring loved this song. It was before the age of iPods, but I had a CD in the car. Whenever the two of us were alone together in the car, we would listen to it; and if we reached our destination before the end of the song, I would wait until it finished before I turned the car off completely.
So long ago.
Those were simpler times, that I did not sufficiently appreciate. I miss being able to bring such simple joys to the Offspring -- like playing their favorite songs. And singing to them.
I hope you enjoy.
Marc Anthony, You Sang to Me.
A thousand years ago now, one of the Offspring loved this song. It was before the age of iPods, but I had a CD in the car. Whenever the two of us were alone together in the car, we would listen to it; and if we reached our destination before the end of the song, I would wait until it finished before I turned the car off completely.
So long ago.
Those were simpler times, that I did not sufficiently appreciate. I miss being able to bring such simple joys to the Offspring -- like playing their favorite songs. And singing to them.
I hope you enjoy.
Marc Anthony, You Sang to Me.
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Tuesday, January 15, 2019
Monday, January 14, 2019
Ride
Tonight's earworm: Night Ride Across the Caucasus (Loreena McKennitt).
When things are much too busy, soothing music does help.
I hope you enjoy.
When things are much too busy, soothing music does help.
I hope you enjoy.
Sunday, January 13, 2019
Window Gazing
Tiny Dog looks wistfully out the front window. Offspring the Third has gone back to college. (At least Tiny Dog has the blanket he gave her for Christmas, to keep her warm.)
Saturday, January 12, 2019
Betazoid
Herself speaks.
Somehow, it's nearly two weeks into 2019. I feel as though I am running forever behind, and wonder whether I will ever catch up? I know I will, eventually; I just need more time.
In the past few weeks, I have borne witness to various griefs of others: a breakup with a significant other, unexpected death of a pet, and more. It is a necessity, to sit with others during their times of need: to bring comfort, if possible; to murmur consoling words; and just to be present. I am not uncomfortable with other people's sorrows. I am not afraid of others' tears. If my presence is helpful, then I am there, in a heartbeat.
In helping others, though, there is a toll to self. While I am not quite on the level of Counselor Deanna Troi of Star Trek: The Next Generation, I am fairly empathic. And relatedly, I tend to absorb the feelings of others. While these may perhaps be useful abilities on occasion, they come with a cost: I need a certain amount of time to process happenings, and to allow the feelings of others that I have encountered to disperse.
Think of the soul as a pool of cool water, into which a cup of hot water has been poured -- the hot water must spread out and be dissipated into the cool water, until a stable temperature is reached throughout. It takes time, patience, and some solitude: for a pool of water that is buffeted by the wind or the rain cannot reach an internal balance.
This is why my solo hike in the desert last weekend was so helpful. Any turmoil in my inner pool can evaporate into the air of the desert. I am better, and more able to help again.
It may take a few more solo hikes to get things settled properly once more.
Somehow, it's nearly two weeks into 2019. I feel as though I am running forever behind, and wonder whether I will ever catch up? I know I will, eventually; I just need more time.
In the past few weeks, I have borne witness to various griefs of others: a breakup with a significant other, unexpected death of a pet, and more. It is a necessity, to sit with others during their times of need: to bring comfort, if possible; to murmur consoling words; and just to be present. I am not uncomfortable with other people's sorrows. I am not afraid of others' tears. If my presence is helpful, then I am there, in a heartbeat.
In helping others, though, there is a toll to self. While I am not quite on the level of Counselor Deanna Troi of Star Trek: The Next Generation, I am fairly empathic. And relatedly, I tend to absorb the feelings of others. While these may perhaps be useful abilities on occasion, they come with a cost: I need a certain amount of time to process happenings, and to allow the feelings of others that I have encountered to disperse.
Think of the soul as a pool of cool water, into which a cup of hot water has been poured -- the hot water must spread out and be dissipated into the cool water, until a stable temperature is reached throughout. It takes time, patience, and some solitude: for a pool of water that is buffeted by the wind or the rain cannot reach an internal balance.
This is why my solo hike in the desert last weekend was so helpful. Any turmoil in my inner pool can evaporate into the air of the desert. I am better, and more able to help again.
It may take a few more solo hikes to get things settled properly once more.
Friday, January 11, 2019
Wednesday, January 9, 2019
Pathway
Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home; that wildness is a necessity; and that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life. - John Muir
Tuesday, January 8, 2019
Sunday, January 6, 2019
Saturday, January 5, 2019
Friday, January 4, 2019
Dandy
Offspring the Third gave me some of his photographs. He has an eye for detail, and a talent for capturing lovely images of Very Small Things.
Behold, the dandelion. Wonderful.
Behold, the dandelion. Wonderful.
Copyright 2018, 2019, Offspring the Third.
All rights reserved.
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
Day One
Herself speaks.
I am tired of being fat.
-----
I did not do well in the "taking care of my diet" department in 2018. I would like to make excuses for myself: it was a very difficult and stressful year is one of the most commonly-applied justifications inside my head. There is some truth to this -- I tend to eat my feelings, and there were a lot of feelings last year.
We all know that's not healthy behavior, though.
-----
When I look at myself in the mirror, I am angry at myself. So weak, so self-indulgent, so lacking in willpower, so... gross. And I wonder whether other people judge me the same way. It seems ridiculous to be so self-conscious: when I see overweight people, I do not think these same things about them. (Apparently, inside my head the criticism is for me alone. Which is good, for I do not like to judge other people.)
-----
This morning, I stepped on the scale, and then wrote down the terrible number. And I found a tape measure, and recorded my measurements. Then I exercised, ate sensibly, and prepared some homemade soups for meals at work for the rest of the week. One day at a time -- it took me a while to get this overweight, so it will take a while to get back to where I would like to be.
I'm going to try hard. The key will be to figure out what to do with my feelings, besides try to squelch them with calories. Perhaps an unpublished diary will be the way to go. I do not know. We shall see.
I am tired of being fat.
-----
I did not do well in the "taking care of my diet" department in 2018. I would like to make excuses for myself: it was a very difficult and stressful year is one of the most commonly-applied justifications inside my head. There is some truth to this -- I tend to eat my feelings, and there were a lot of feelings last year.
We all know that's not healthy behavior, though.
-----
When I look at myself in the mirror, I am angry at myself. So weak, so self-indulgent, so lacking in willpower, so... gross. And I wonder whether other people judge me the same way. It seems ridiculous to be so self-conscious: when I see overweight people, I do not think these same things about them. (Apparently, inside my head the criticism is for me alone. Which is good, for I do not like to judge other people.)
-----
This morning, I stepped on the scale, and then wrote down the terrible number. And I found a tape measure, and recorded my measurements. Then I exercised, ate sensibly, and prepared some homemade soups for meals at work for the rest of the week. One day at a time -- it took me a while to get this overweight, so it will take a while to get back to where I would like to be.
I'm going to try hard. The key will be to figure out what to do with my feelings, besides try to squelch them with calories. Perhaps an unpublished diary will be the way to go. I do not know. We shall see.