Friday, May 18, 2018

Panic

Herself speaks.

I am on the cusp of full-time, hard-core preparation for The Task. I have finished the pre-pre preparation packet, and commenced the pre-preparation packet. Regular full-on preparation (more a Project than a packet) begins Monday, and continues for two months.

I am currently in a state of horror at all I do not know, and am thoroughly dismayed by the Task before me. Those who know me in person, have told me, "you are so smart, you can do this, no problem." I am grateful for their assurance, but in truth, no amount of being 'smart' is going to compensate for the highly specific knowledge I need to cram into my head and regurgitate in the proper way at the right time. 

I am terrified of disappointing not only myself, but all the people who have every confidence that I can surmount this challenge. I want to cry. But I do not have time for that. 

I do have some hope that work of preparation will relieve some of my concern. Time will tell.

And now: I begin. 

1 comment:

  1. Wishing you peace through the process. You certainly know more than you think you do... and preparing for the TASK as in simulating the circumstance of the TASK will be very useful, perhaps even more than KNOWING.

    In your corner... even though I do not know you personally, I, too, have every confidence in your abilities.

    ReplyDelete