One of Herself's greatest difficulties lies in assessing the emotions of other people. While she can generally determine when someone is irritable, angry, or otherwise upset, she often lacks the understanding or the insight necessary to determine why. She does not like to pry. She knows that sometimes people do not wish to discuss the circumstances surrounding a bad mood, and she does not want to put another into the uncomfortable position of having to decline to discuss a matter. Most often, though, Herself is afraid to ask.
For reasons that I do not yet understand, Herself usually assumes that she is at fault -- that she has done something, or failed to do something, that has displeased or upset the other person, and that she is personally responsible for the resultant unhappiness in the other person.
Her Beloved or her friends do not return a call or a text? She assumes they are angry or annoyed with her. A family member is displeased? She wonders whether she has somehow inadvertently caused offense. An acquaintance is distracted during a conversation? She reconsiders all of her words and actions to see whether she has erred.
Intellectually, she knows that other people have their own thoughts, feelings, and concerns, and that nearly all of the time, they have absolutely no bearing on Herself. On a more basic level, though, she worries about angering people. She is afraid of the wrath of others. She cannot assess the magnitude of potential blunders she may have made, and she cannot break free of uneasiness regarding her possible wrongdoing. Has she made an irreparable mistake? And if she has - how will she survive the rejection by, and loss of, the other person?
Such a tremendous fear of abandonment. I do not know its root, nor do I know why such trepidation seems to permeate her existence these days. All that is certain is, she is far more fragile now than she reveals herself to be.
Look after her, my intrepid readers. She needs a bit of extra care.
end of an era
3 days ago